If you live in the SW8 area and you are eating your tea (or your supper, dinner, breakfast or just another bucket of wings from KFC) I would advise you to look away, now.
It's in today's Standard, the property section of which has become something like the in-house newspaper for London's wonderful, warm-hearted and fast-growing community of developers, estate agents and speculative buyers.
This fat wad of full-colour printed hymns of praise to all the latest developments within commuting distance of Liverpool Street has become a prime source of inspiration for grumpy old sods like me.
Usually it just makes me angry. Today it nearly made me vomit, just with one headline.
I could hardly believe they were using this headline, here, now in 2016, about 35 years after I first heard of "Clapham" being referred to as "Cla'am".
At around the same time, people were half-jokingly referring to Battersea as "Ba-TER-see-ya" and Stockwell as "St. Ockwell".
Today the Standard topped all this with a headline which they must surely have been keeping on ice for all those 35 years.
(Look away, now)
"Stockwell: the new Clapham"
Sorry. I did warn you.
Spinning happily at thirty-three-and-a-third revolutions per minute, not wanting to stop
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